After burning out, I learned that chasing a perfect 50/50 work-life balance is unrealistic—especially in medicine.
Instead, I now embrace asymmetric balance, where some days work wins, and others, life does.
It’s not about equal time but sustainable choices.
This shift in mindset, along with boundaries and support, makes life as a physician more livable—and leadership has a big role to play in making that possible.
Let’s be the generation that stops treating self-care like a luxury and starts treating it like PPE for the soul.
Let me be honest with you—after I burned/crashed out (the first time), I did what many of us do: I Googled “work-life balance” while eating toast over the sink at 2 a.m. Spoiler: the answers didn’t help much.
At that point, my “balance” looked more like a high-wire act in a windstorm. After some time (and several rounds of therapy, walks, and faceplants), I finally realized that what I needed wasn’t more balance—it was a mindset shift. One where I stopped expecting my life to be a tidy pie chart of equal parts work, family, exercise, mindfulness, and Netflix.
Especially in medicine.
After my first episode of burnout, I realized my version of balance was… nonexistent. I was chasing some 50/50 ideal where work and life got equal airtime. Spoiler: that doesn’t exist when you’re on call at 3 a.m.
Instead, I’ve embraced asymmetric balance—an honest, flexible way to honour both my work and my humanity.
Some days, medicine takes the lion’s share. Other days, it’s my family, my wellbeing, or even my sanity that gets priority.
And that’s not weakness. It’s wisdom.
If you’re a healthcare leader, ask yourself: Are your people surviving—or actually living?
Let’s rewire the culture. For ourselves. For each other. Before burnout becomes the price of caring.
Symmetrical work-life balance is a myth. Especially in medicine.
Somewhere along the way, we swallowed this idea that work and life should be evenly split. 50/50. Clean. Fair. Reasonable. And completely incompatible with being a doctor.
Because let’s face it: our days are anything but balanced. Emergencies don’t care about your spin class. Rounds run long. Notes pile up. And if you’re lucky, a patient will cry on you just as you’re trying to leave for your kid’s school play.
We’re not living in a spreadsheet, folks. This isn’t a productivity app—it’s a career built on uncertainty and deeply human moments.
Here’s the secret no one told me: balance doesn’t mean equal. It means sustainable. It means accepting that sometimes work will take more. Sometimes life will. And sometimes you’ll just collapse on the couch with a packet of biscuits and no idea what day it is.
This idea of “asymmetric balance” is gaining traction—and not just in medicine. Stewart Friedman, a leadership guy who actually gets it, talks about “four-way wins”: doing work in a way that benefits your job, your family, your community, and you.
Not equally. Not perfectly. But consciously. (Friedman, 2008)
So I gave myself permission to adapt. To accept that sometimes medicine would win. But other times? So would I.
When I burned out, I didn’t just feel tired—I felt hollowed out. Like I was running on fumes and everyone wanted just a bit more of me. I had no boundaries, no hobbies, and no clue that this wasn’t normal.
Eventually, I realised that expecting my schedule to look like anyone else’s—let alone some textbook example—was the problem. So I gave myself permission to adapt. To accept that sometimes medicine would win. But other times? So would I.
I blocked out weekends. I delegated. I started saying “no”—badly, awkwardly, but eventually with confidence. I even made a rule: no email after 7 p.m. (unless someone’s bleeding out of two or more orifices).
This isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom. And it makes you a better doctor, not a worse one.
We can’t talk about burnout without talking about the system.
Flexible schedules. Mental health support. Time to recharge built in. No sleep deprivation (a cruel and inhumane punishment).
Real, human leadership that doesn’t equate martyrdom with professionalism. If you’re in leadership, ask yourself: are your people surviving, or thriving? Are you modeling the balance you want them to have?
Let’s be the generation that stops treating self-care like a luxury and starts treating it like PPE for the soul.
There’s no formula. No perfect split. But there is a better way.
So give yourself some grace. Let go of the 50/50 myth. Aim for something more alive, more human, and—frankly—more doable.
You’re not a machine. You’re a person with limits, needs, dreams—and maybe a secret desire to take up pottery. (Go on. Do it.)
We at Physicians Anonymous are with you. Come join one of our support groups if you’re feeling wobbly. Or even if you’re not. Because you deserve support before the crash, not after it.
#PhysicianWellbeing #WorkLifeIntegration #BurnoutRecovery #HealthcareLeadership #PhysiciansAnonymous
Join one of our peer-support groups at PhysiciansAnonymous.org
